If your a huge "Disnerd" like me, you probably love the music in Encanto. While there are many songs in the Disney movie that are amazing, there is one in particular that has stood out to me recently. The main character, Mirabel, is the only person born into her family that does not have a "gift" or magical power. She sings a ballad called "Waiting on a Miracle." If you listen to it through the lense of fertility, it has a very profound meaning.
Listen here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jKKrfr4To14
When Mirabel begins singing, the world around her slows. I think this is a key feature of the song. All of this is going on in the character's mind and heart at a speed that transcends actual time. All of that emotion is packed into just a few mere seconds. THAT is infertility. All the emotions erupt so suddenly and with such force that it can be hard to discern what they are. Only when you are able to stop time and really try to dissect them can you understand them. It also speaks to how exhausting a fertility journey can be! What feels like days, weeks, or months worth of emotion can be packed into a single second! Everyone should be aware of that gravity and give grace. Give grace to yourself if you are on the journey. Give grace to others you know traveling that rough terrain.
Another reoccurring line of "I'm fine" is a BIG part of a fertility journey too. People feel the need to hide their struggles and put on a brave face in public. We say "I'm fine" because it's easier than unleashing the wave of feelings and pain kept inside. It grows stronger though and more painful to the point where you "can't keep down the unspoken invisible pain." You have to admit you're "not fine" sometimes. It takes courage and that can be a lot to ask on certain days. I will say, personally, I have never regretted admitting "I'm not fine." The burst of courage to say so is worth it in the end with the support I received in return.
Exclusion of any kind causes loneliness. Mirabel feels she can't relate to any of her family members just as many people feel when they struggle with fertility. We have to "stand on the side while others shine" and grow their families. Watching other people experience the one thing you wish for most takes its toll. Meanwhile, we "can't take another night in our rooms waiting on a miracle." Waiting. Waiting. Waiting for the miracle we hope happens, but don't know if it ever will. The very last line of the song hits me hard: "I hope I'm not too late for a miracle." I think that is everyone's greatest fear. Yet somehow, people continue pushing. They persevere in the hopes of a miracle. Miracles do come in many different shapes and sizes. While we all hope for one in the shape and size of a belly bump, I truly think that the miracle waiting for you will come in the shape and size that is meant for you. You've been "patient and steadfast and steady." Just hold out a little longer for the miracle waiting for you.
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