Don’t Say It!

Public Service Anniuncement: Do not, I repeat, DO NOT tell me, "it only takes one." I am going to lose my sh*t the next time that phrase is uttered to me. Yes, I am aware that a single baby come from one egg, but it is not as simple as that. If it only took one, I'd be freaking Octomom by now.

I am doing my third round of "stims" (ovarian stimulation) right now in preparation for an egg retrieval. The key word here is EGG not EGGS. Once again, my body is responding to treatment with one follicle (potential egg). Even though protocols were changed and adapted from the previous rounds, my body is still doing a sucky job. At my day 9 monitoring appointment, the ultrasound tech who was measuring my follicle paused and looked at my paperwork while the US wand was still up there and said, "You're doing IVF? Not IUI?" Yeah, lady. Even among other fertility patients, I'm an outlier. I don't get a bunch of follicles like the others. Rather than raging out on this woman, I just replied, "yeah I don't respond as well to the meds as other women." THEN SHE SAID IT! "Well it only takes one! This looks like a good one." It took all I had to keep my mouth shut because I knew she had good intentions. As soon as she left the room, I cried.

One egg is not enough for a person like me who has both quality AND quantity going against us. Is it possible that this single egg could be the one? Sure. Statistically there is a chance, but it is not one with good odds and I would not recommend putting money on it. You'd be better off getting a scratcher from 7-11.

Let's break down the statistics. Approximately 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. I'm at 100%. Approximately 1 in 8 couples struggle with fertility. Hi! I'm one of them. Less than 5% of the US population use IVF, yet for me it is my only option outside of adoption. All of that aside, let's focus on just IVF stats. In terms of fertilization, between 70-80% of eggs should fertilize. Of my meager 7 eggs, only 4 fertilized properly. That's approximately 57%. Of those that fertilize, anywhere between 30-50% should make it to the blastocyst stage. I'm at 50% there with 2 out of 4 embryos becoming blasts. Woop de doo- one not totally awful stat. For someone my age (under 35), 72% of embryos should be genetically normal. That rate declines with age. Once 40, the percentage drops below 50 and continues to decline. This is the key piece for me. I'm at 0%. Even though age is on my side, my embryos were genetically abnormal. Some of my bloodwork levels can be compared to a woman in her early/mid 40s. Let's pretend though for a moment that at least one was normal. There is about a 25% chance of an embryo sticking and resulting in a pregnancy. Some sources say it could be up to a 60% chance with genetic testing, but with my history, it's hard to say. So basically, erring on the side of caution, to "ensure" one live birth, you'd want about 4 healthy embryos. If you want more than one child, multiply that number by 2 or however many you want.

So YOU do the math here. Does it really just take one? Should I be optimistic and hopeful that this one could be it?! I've always been a practical person. Numbers are my comfort zone. These numbers though, make me cry. So before you tell me "it only takes one" again, think about all the odds, percentages, and numbers that are running through my head and weighing on my heart and keep that comment to yourself.