Planning the Announcement

Trying to find the right time to share our happy news publicly has been tricky. We want to shout it from the rooftops and celebrate, but we, especially me, are still fearful of loss. All signs point to a healthy pregnancy, yet the trauma of the past can’t be reasoned with. So I decided November would be the best time because I would be far enough along and out of the typical “window” for loss (though I know later losses still happen). Also, with October being Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, I wanted to keep that month separate.

So once we knew when to tell, it came down to how. Throughout this 3.5 year journey, there have been many quotes or song lyrics that have been special to me. Once I picked the quote, the rest of the puzzle pieces fell into place perfectly. With my love of Disney, and especially princesses, the Fairy Godmother’s quote from Cinderella rang true: “Even miracles take a little time.” This sentence encompasses it all. The LONG journey as well as the true blessing of our miracle.

To pair with the quote, the song “A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes” from Cinderella has a meaningful message too. I remember using it in one of my first public posts out our journey during Infertility Awareness Week, just a month before our second loss. “Have faith in your dreams and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dreams that you wish will come true.” Just typing it out brings tears to my eyes. Faith and believing in the possibility of parenthood is the only thing that kept me going. To say my “heart was grieving” during the past years is an understatement. I can’t even count the amount of times I wanted to give up or the amount I times I just wanted to melt away. But even the slightest chance at one day getting to hold my rainbow baby in my arms… that made me do one more appointment, one more round, one more shot. This truly will be my dream come true.

One of the things synonymous with Cinderella and her godmother is, of course, pumpkins! Not only do I love pumpkins, but it is fall and we just did our annual pumpkin patch trip where we buy one pumpkin per family member. This year we got to buy 7! One for Michael, one for me, one for each of our dogs, Finn and Max, 2 for our angels, and one for Baby Damskey. With that said, an important symbol to me is a white pumpkin. It is meant to honor babies lost. I felt it important to someone how include Poppy and Hawthorn in our announcement. They are still a part of my heart and always will be. I know that they are looking after their little brother or sister and will continue to be their guardian angels. Including the 2 white pumpkins made the whole concept complete for me.

Once again, my mom helped me put it all in a video so I could share it with the world. I have watched it at least a hundred times and I am just overflowed with joy and love each time. It’s finally my turn. I get to make my husband a daddy and I get to be a mommy. I already love this little one so much My heart has made a wish and it’s finally going to come true.