November 2021

Every Thanksgiving, I watch The Wizard of Oz. It’s been a tradition since I was young. Today, as I listened to Judy Garland sing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” I broke down in tears in a mix of grief yet hope at the same time.

When I first got a positive pregnancy test, my husband asked when we could tell people. I said late fall would be about the right time. He was excited and said that we would have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

I first was very sad today knowing that I would not be sharing any exciting news and only seeing others post about it. I drank my coffee out of my “Dog Mom” mug and that just felt like a knife in my heart. Then I hear Judy sing the lyrics that have always been a favorite of mine. While I still feel this grief and loss, I am starting to feel hope too.

After doctors telling me to “just keep trying” and “everything is probably fine,” one of them listened to me. He did blood work and found out what has been wrong with me. I have hope that there will be a little rainbow in my future- taking my black and white world to one filled with color and joy. For that I am thankful 🌈