Identifying Feelings

It sounds so silly and elementary, but my therapist and I have been working on identifying my emotions and recognizing how they manifest. The main 4 I am experiencing are anxiety, fear, grief, and loneliness.

Anxiety:

I have struggled with anxiety (and depression) since childhood. I have always recognized it in my hands. I fidget them, wring them, tap them, etc. It is usually the warning sign my husband notices before an anxiety attack. I learned that it has other body sensations too. First, I get a knot type feeling in my stomach. I don't want to eat and it just feels unsettled. My chest feels like there is a beehive inside. It buzzes and flutters in the most uncomfortable way. It can't be ignored. I also get a feeling like there are ants in my pants. I feel like I need to walk and move whether is is in place or pacing the living room.

Fear:

Fear happens in my head. It is fueled by confusion and that evil voice of negativity gets louder and louder. It causes me to overanalyze each and every sensation in my body. Is that pang, prick, stab, pull a sign of something? Pregnancy? Another problem? NO matter what words come out of my mouth or anyone else's, that voice of negativity prevails.

Grief:

Grief is heavy. It is like a ball and chain that I have to lug around every second of every day. It is ready at any second to pull me down and paralyze me. There is also that empty pit in my stomach. I think it is because that is where my baby is supposed to be. Then there is my heart. It is shattered. I am not sure how to repair it.

Loneliness:

This one is harder to decipher. I am alone in my body because my baby is no longer inside. I feel alone because my family doesn't feel the same way I feel. They can walk this journey next to me, on an adjacent path, but they will never be able to walk it in my shoes.