Heart

We had our first ultrasound today to see how our baby is doing. While I was so excited for this moment, I was also petrified. This scan could shatter everything. My stomach was in knots. I couldn’t tell if my nausea was from nerves, pregnancy, or a mix. Since it was the afternoon, we were the only ones in the waiting room. I’m not sure if this was better or worse, but I just kept gripping Michael’s hand. Part of me just wanted to get it over with. They called us back and I swear I could hear my heart beat in my ears.

During the ultrasound, Michael was squeezing my hand and I was trying to keep from shaking. When the nurse was describing what she saw, I began crying tears of joy and disbelief. We saw the tiny heart beat flickering on the screen! Our baby was really there! My heart burst into a million pieces. I felt such relief and gratefulness.

The nurse left a video on a loop on the screen and gave us a few minutes alone in the room. I continued to sob and just stare at the screen. Michael took a video of the screen so we could save this memory forever. Our little miracle is measuring perfectly and the heart is beating at the perfect speed.

Even as we left and drove to Walmart to buy a few celebratory baby items, I couldn’t control my tears. They kept leaking out uncontrollably, but in the best way. I still can’t believe we’ve made it this far. I truly thought this wasn’t in our stars, but there it was! I hung the sonogram photo on my nightstand so I can look at our miracle at the start and end of each day. When Michael tucked me in for bed (I go to sleep hours before him), he gave each of our pups a head rub, me a kiss on the lips, and then a kiss on my belly. As if my heart could burst any more! I think today made it real for him too.