Do you have any kids? (4/2022)

Many people ask questions like this. Every time someone asks this, it is like a knife to the heart. Am I a mom? It is difficult to think about. I feel like a mom, one without a baby. How do I answer it though? I'd like to say, "Yes, one in Heaven," but that feels kind of dumb or awkward to say. it that a valid answer? Does it count? My answer for now is just, "not yet." It is easier to say that because it doesn't open up any wounds (as if they were actually closed) or cause any uncomfortable conversations. I shouldn't care what others think, but I do. I don't want to forget my poppy seed, but is it horrible that at the same time, I do?