Cycle 5- Sept/Oct 2022

I'll save you all the anticipation- the cycle ends with a negative pregnancy test. Things were all looking good with multiple follicles and a decent lining. I did all the medications to fidelity, yet it still didn't work.

Day 18: WTF! Those cramps that cause toilet issues have escalated. I got a sudden onset of strong cramps to where I couldn't stand up straight. I ran to the bathroom and the pain just got stronger. I became very pale and felt faint. I had to yell for Michael to bring me a bowl because I wasn't sure which end something was going to come out of. He took one look at me and started to hold me up because I was nearly passing out. After about 15 minutes of this agony, I laid on the bathroom floor with a wet rag after getting sick (both ends). It was terrifying to have my consciousness teeter back and forth. I honestly thought my insides were going to catch fire and explode.

Day 22: I am really trying to stay positive and keep some hope. I feel like I did a decent job remaining calmish the past few days, but as the TWW comes closer to a end, it gets increasingly harder. It is hard not to question every symptom I get and question the ones I don't feel. It is so confusing and fills me with impatience. I want to pee on all the sticks! I just want immediate answers, but it is too soon. I just want this so badly. All the fear is still there, but this cycle has just felt different. Balancing doubt and hope is so difficult. Whatever answer I get Friday will bring tough emotions.