Constant Reminders- July 2022

Infertility and loss are inescapable. There are constant reminder during each day that make the whole experience 20 times worse. The first of which is my wrist. Apparently pregnancy can cause tendonitis to occur. I am just the lucky person to have de quervain's tendonitis last longer than my pregnancy! My left wrist has hurt horribly and I struggle to use it. Bending it and grasping things are not easy. I went to a orthopedist and she gave me a cortisone injection to hopefully fix it. While it is improving, My skin around the area is turning a pale pink color and it looks like some of the tissue is disappearing. Am I going to have some sort of scar now? A physical and visual reminder of Hawthorn.

Next is all the reminders that television brings. Can one freaking TV show not be about pregnancy?! I know my favorite genre, sitcoms, often have love and marriage and babies, but I thought I was avoiding it by watching cooking shows and detective shows. Boy, was I wrong! Master Chef had a special baby shower episode to celebrate the pregnant judge and dozens of other pregnant women. Then in Criminal Minds, a fertility clinic had information stolen. Even the podcast I love, "Office Ladies" aired its episode about when Pam and Jim have their baby.

The one that is the worst of all is ads. Social media has this very special talent of showing ads for all things baby and motherhood. Every few scrolls, I see a chubby baby in diapers or 2 parents with huge grins making their little one laugh. I tried to click on the ads to request "show me less like this," but it doesn't seem to make a difference- a futile effort.

There really is not way to escape this reality.